Third Time's a Charm

This weekend Lukas had his third going away shindig. I felt like most people would be really apathetic (Janai) about going because at this point they've gone to one of the other parties and been nagged to no end about not making it to the other, or because they were like "He's not gone yet?" I had a bbq to go to before hand and figured I'd swing in for the late part of the party. Upon my arrival Katy tells me, "It's weird." and that could mean a lot of things...

1) There was a random dog wearing a tshirt. Who's dog was this? Why would they bring a dog to a party? Why is it wearing a tshirt? We found him in a room watching tv. It was weird. We tried to get him to come out, but he was apparently heavily invested in some weird British show from the 80s.

2) People kept passing out on the couches. They were subsequently drawn upon. What is this high school? Who rolls up to a party and passes out? I was way more offended by that than the fact that some fools drew full on beards and mustaches on them. It's not even midnight and you're asleep on a stranger's couch when there's a house full of people? Really?

3) Random Georgetown freshman roll up with a Gtown senior who lives next door. Lukas walks up and goes,"What're you doing here?", they say they came to hang out, "Where's your beer? Did you bring something or are you just trying to come and drink our booze and peace out?" They clearly didn't have anything. Lukas kicks them out and verbally berates them. Random senior who doesn't have anything either is probably the drunkest man in Washington DC. His shirt is unbuttoned to the extent that I question his heterosexuality. We let the kid stay and he's fully entertaining saying random stuff and staggaring around. At some point Jesus gets a "tour" of his house. I left them to it and Lukas yells at me for leaving that young child alone with Jesus. I have to go break it up. We go back to the fiesta and the kid goes,"Is everyone here gay?" I looked around and was like, "No. I mean, I'm not." To which he responds, "Well yeah, you're a girl, you can't be gay." I almost drop some knowledge about the various possible sexual orientations available to women, but as I look at his vacant, glazed over eyes, bright red face and notice the way he's swaying back and forth I think better of it. Jo says she saw Jesus trying to button that young child's shirt at some point. I'm walking downstairs and see the kid fully laid out in Brittany's bed and she's like closing the door and I'm like, "Uuuuummm why is everyone in this house trying to rape that young child?" And I'm compelled to intervene. I found out that Brittany is not, in fact, attempting to take advantage of the child, she was leaving to go out with some friends and just told him to pass out in her room before he made a total ass of himself. Apparently.

We saw that child the next day as we were out back (drinking again) having a top 40 dance party. We threw him a beer and he's like, "Whoa are you guys STILL partying?" He was intrigued but I think too embarassed/afraid to come over and chill with us.

4) Literally 7 of us fell asleep around 6am on the couches, I woke up and went upstairs to sleep and was rudely awakened by Jesus yelling, "LUKAS SAYS YOU'RE LAUGHING AT US!" Apparently Lukas told everyone that I was laughing at them because I was asleep in a bed and they were on the couch. Whatever. We then watch the Bedroom Intruder song and everyone sings along. I know my friends are awesome when they happily rouse themselves from hungover slumber to sing the Bedroom Intruder song.

5) The next day during our two hour long top 40 dance party in the backyard (Where I drank a whole bottle of wine and everyone else drank 7-8 beers) we took tons of pictures and blasted embarassing music as we danced around and it was awesome. Then we spent the rest of the day boozing at Rhino and watching the games. It was insane. Ran into tons of people we knew and got into all sorts of mayhem. JESUS GOT ICED! It was terrible! I'd never witnessed an icing but it is hilarious and embarassing. A key quote from that day was, "I can't fight crime, I'm dancing." -Jesus. And he was.