Three Day Weekend

A lot has happened in the past week mostly due to the three day weekend and my friends having incredibly powerful livers. Rekindled an old friendship with a guy I've known since college who is a bartender at the waterfront. That led to disaster twice this weekend. Okay maybe not disaster but it did lead to Jesus using a wall to support himself and propel himself down the street.

I started Saturday at Sea Catch, where Jesus and Jason were bartending. Jason made this amazing Skittles infused vodka and they both kept me in champagne while TJ told me about how Georgetown undergrads laughed at Jesus the night before in Quick Pita because he was using the wall to hold himself upright. Nice. My goal for the evening then became to get Jesus so drunk that he needed to hold himself up using the wall. We went to the waterfront where we got 'prime real estate' by the bar. It wasn't actually prime because it meant my friend could give us shots whenever he wanted, and when we tried to pour them into our drinks rather than take them he would point at us and say menacingly, "I saw that!" PS I think the bartender lady with the braid at the waterfront hates me, maybe she has a thing for my friend?? And I got an epic lecture from Jesus, the apotheosis of all things moral and good, about dating men who are less attractive than me and how he hates when I do it. (I do not do it often, for the record.) It was just ironic that Jesus of all people would lecture me about anything, let alone that. We ended up trying to find Jason and TJ later that night. Walking up Wisconsin Ave, Jesus was forced to use the Apple Store's front window to propel himself forward as TJ came into view and said, "Goal achieved!" and high fived me. I swore Jesus stole my ring and he swore it was in my purse, TJ obviously believed me...yeah it was in my purse the whole time.

The next day (SUNDAY FUNDAY!) TJ picked me up and we met Jesus and Janai at the Front Page for bottomless mimosas and all you can eat buffet. I think we each told the waiter, who was more hung over than god, that he should just leave a carafe of mimosas on our table to save himself effort but he wasn't allowed. We ran him ragged with our drinking skills. Janai stuffed herself so full of food that all she could do for the next hour was lay down, rub her stomach and lament her food baby. After Front Page we grabbed booze and headed to the rooftop at TJ's brother's house. Sat up there and listened to music and enjoyed the day until lots of people were up there and we decided we were in no shape to be around other humans because we'd gone far beyond the bounds of politically correctness and politeness. Naturally, we headed to Millie and Al's where we had 3-4 pitchers (no one knows for sure) of beer and shots. We were the only people in there for a good 1.5 hours but we were champions. Jesus the next day was like, "I mean it's not like we did shots there...but we always do shots at Millie and Al's" Oh yes we did.

Then it was time for the waterfront. My friend kept the booze flowing more steadily than he probably should and eventually Jesus left us. He was blacked out. Apparently he blacked back in and was sitting in the movie theater watching Inception and eating nachos alone. He has no idea how he got there or what he was doing or what happened in the movie. "Who would sell me a ticket? Why wouldn't they be like, sir you're too drunk to understand Inception right now, please go home?" he asked the next day. I have a feeling he just lurched in and said "Movie. Nachos." and some poor fool took pity on him and probably laughed at him and wanted to see what he would do. At lunch the next day Jesus was in rough shape to say the very, very least. He was leering at children and rude to the waiter and he ordered like everything on the menu then didn't eat it. To be fair, I knew it was too early for him to be in public but I really wanted padthai and made him suffer for my love of Thai food.