Pirates and Cougars

I involved myself in a few activities and went to a few places this weekend that I'm ashamed to admit to, but I will. First, Pirates Tavern, in Silver Spring. Now don't get me wrong I love a pirate as much as the next person but on a Friday night do I really need to be in a pirate themed bar in Maryland??? I had to go. Six months ago Matt got insanely drunk there, bought everyone drinks while saying "I work for the fucking government." and stole gummy worms from other people's shots, then vomited in the bar and was carried home through the blizzard by some friends. (And he continued vomiting all the way home) He put into place a 6 month self-imposed ban and this was his return. Like I said, I had to go.

Wow this place was pirated up to the core. Skeletons, treasure chests, costumed service staff, lots of netting, sails and wooden things...no plank though. Sad. Grog: traditional pirate drink. Mix three types of whiskey with cinnamon and ginger beer and put it in a massive hold-this-with-both-hands sized glass and there you have grog. The pirates came around and played songs, sang, harassed us and they did it all in pirate speak, which was cool, but we were a big group and so they kinda came after us a lot which was annoying considering the topics of conversation. 1. Clark gets enraged about belly dancers at the restaurant Marrakesh and says its just as offensive as going in blackface. He was legitly angry and he's one of the most mild mannered humans alive. 2. Mike shouts quasi racists comments at the pirates when he gets the idea that the black pirate is named 'Black Jack' (he wasn't). 3. Shana reams out Clark and Matt for talking about the women in Kazakhstan. 4. Shana was forced to take a birthday shot called a Cannonball, which was made from what sounded like 3 types of 150+ proof booze. Immediate remorse. 5. Katie was singing Irish songs. All in all the place was fun. The people that work there may or may not be way too into pirates, and those ladies' corsets were WAY too tight and they were showing WAY too much cleavage, but the booze was fun and the company was good. I would def take friends from out of town there again but I doubt it'd be my go-to bar.

After Shana's birthday dinner at Mei Nu the next night, which was incredible as always, we went to Modern Lounge to check it out. It was the biggest mixed bag of random fools I had ever seen. The music was meh, it smelled funny and there were two really wasted people grinding on one another hardcore and it was only 11pm. We bailed and met Lukas and Jesus at Rhino bar (ugh I know, positively shameful), where their roommate Britney is the bartender. We drank for free all night. There was some dancing, some highly unsavory behavior by the Polish man and like 100 super drunk Georgetown undergrads, but we muscled through with the power of free booze (thank you britney!) At last call we leave, but not before Britney shoves 4 Miller Lites in my purse. Somehow Jesus and I end up in some Georgetown senior's house chatting it up...I guess it was a party and wasn't anymore. I have no clue. Jesus accused me of cougaring it up with one of the kids. Yo, talking and facebooking is not cougaring.

Katy says she's not a cougar because she's too young to be a cougar. She calls herself a puma, which I learned from Matt is inaccurate because cougars are pumas. So we start googling big cats and find the Serval. It can jump 12ft. It is so cute. THIS is the kinda cat you want to be (I mean if you're into the whole cougaring it up thing). It is my new favorite animal and should I ever be involved with a younger man will be how I distinguish myself from the cougars. Apparently they can be domesticated and form strong bonds with families. However if I woke up and one was standing on my bed I would freak the hell out. They are big.